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                                          OCT 17.08 
     
    因為我在某些地方是一個很愛忍的人
    忍到極限要爆炸了98%控制不了了才會宣洩出來
    這時候要讓我機哩瓜拉的講就好不講我會死掉
    然後過一振子我就會忘記了
    雖然平常爽快的想講蛇麼就講蛇麼
    但是偶爾還是有難言之隱
    所以這裡是我平常講不出口 吐不出來的話
    都放在這邊在這裡發洩出來
     
    我現在想關閉自己
    我懶的講話   不講講話 
     
    因為隨時可以在空中看到 有炸彈會射向人群
     
    好暴躁  所以也跟著沒什麼耐性
     
    差不多再邁開步伐個兩三大步
    就要走入那個紅燈區的界線或者可能掉進是個永無止盡的黑洞
    自己心理明白那是永遠不可能的 真的也是絕對不行的
    那份可能永遠無法表達的
    就這樣讓他放在心底沉澱下去吧
     
    我害怕掉近那紅燈區和黑洞中 深深的無法自拔
    好像將會變成一個面目可憎 醜陋的人  感覺離我越來越近...
    忌妒懷疑 惡魔的心腸
    是不行的不可以這樣
    都只是說不出口的
     自己還頗認同的好EQ 需要待改進了
    已經快要快樂不起來了
    不容許自己一直再這樣
     
    我不想
     
    僅至此就好
    我怕變質怕走樣怕破壞 也怕失去怕難過怕痛怕心痛怕迷失自己
    逗號以後 以往繼續
    命令自己
    不再前進
    立刻停止了一切動作
    輕輕的 慢慢的   無聲無息的往後退出
     
     
     
     
    所以這個時候去充實自己一點
     
    閉關
     
    來多看一點書
     
    撫平自己 應該是是最好的方式了吧
     
    對八...
    這算是一個自我保護囉 
     
     
     
    想要一個人靜一靜
    所以什麼都不要問我,好嗎
     
     
     
     
     

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    紫缘wrote:
    怎么会事?
    Oct. 22

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